Well, not really sure at this point. My vision I guess is to provide you the reader, and watcher with a solid movie review. There are to many people out there that just rip apart movies, and never just watch them for what they really are...entertainment. We have seen in these hard economic times the movie industry has gone up over 23%. People just want to be entertained, and I want to provide them with the perfect entertainment choice. I am not here to tell you whether a movie should win an oscar or not. I am here to tell you what size popcorn you should buy if you end up seeing the movies that I review. I believe you can tell whether a movie is good or not based upon the amount of popcorn consumed by the end of the movie. I will review my movies on this scale.
BAGS OF POPCORN:
XTRA-SMALL - DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME [NOT EVEN ON DVD]
SMALL - ITS NOT TERRIBLE, BUT ITS NOT GOOD EITHER [RENT IT MAYBE]
MEDIUM - GO SEE IT WHY NOT! [RENT THIS]
LARGE - YOU SHOULD SEE THIS MOVIE [BUY THIS]
XTRA-LARGE - IF YOU DON’T SEE THIS, YOU ARE AN IDIOT [3-DISC SPECIAL EDITION]
TRIPLE XTRA-LARGE - THIS JUST MEANS PURE AWESOMENESS [RED-BOX IT]
If you have a problem with this Scale. I DON’T care. If you choose to read my reviews. Awesome. If you don’t, there is always EW. Enjoy. I will try and Post 3-4 movie/DVD reviews per week. ENJOY
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ReplyDeleteso so excited for this!
ReplyDeleteI DON'T care if you DON'T care. I think "xtra-small" should be "carpet kernels." Why even bother buying popcorn if it's that bad? "Triple xtra large" should be "3x buttery xtra-large" because a tummy ache and a bucket the size of a junior higher were the first things that came to mind. Just a thought, Mr. Ebert.
ReplyDeleteGreat name, where did you get it?
ReplyDeletewink wink
a) People should rip movies apart more often instead of passively consuming the crap that's being perpetually fed to them.
ReplyDeleteb) Not all movies function as just "entertainment."
c) I'm waiting on your Troll 2 review.