Really excited about the movie Oceans. Review to come soon.

Death at a Funeral

Dear James Marsden,


I have always been a giant fan of yours.  Your range for movies is actually really good.  From X-Men to Sex Drive, Hairspray, and Enchanted, you have put together quite a resume.  However your finest film yet was Death at a Funeral.  You easily stole the show, in a cast full of show stealers [Tracy Morgan, Luke Wilson].  I think what did it for you was your smile.  It is seriously so big.  On the other side of things the whole hallucination joke went on for too long.  It's cool though because your character kept the laughs going throughout.  Thanks for another great performance and not making this movie as bad as I thought it would be.


Sincerely,
Corny  Reviews


Before you say anything about the fact that I actually saw this movie.  I ask that you read this review with an open mind.  Obviously this from the second the trailer premiered was looked at by most of you as a waste of time.  And for some of you it might be [racists], but I have to say I truly enjoyed this movie.  Having seen the original British comedy 3 years ago in Santa Cruz, I was pleasantly surprised by this remake.  The original couldn't hold on to its laughs or the audience like the Chris Rock produced remake did.  The whole premise is that all these family members reunite for a funeral, but when everyone gets together hilarity ensues.  Well at least this was the point of the original.  The truth is it wasn't that believable.  The remake was.  Why was it so believable you ask?  To tell you truth I don't know but with a long list for a cast including the now old Danny Glover, who delivers one of the best lines of the movie, they all kind of made it work.  At about minute 75 into the movie we got point, and for this fact alone I am going to grade it a little bit lower than I should.


This is not the movie you want to show your kids due to the language, but this isn't a movie you should pass up at the old red-box either.  For those of you looking to be entertained for 90 minutes this is the perfect movie.  You are sure to laugh at James Marsden character, and you will definately laugh at Tracy Morgan throughout.  The part I think I appreciate the most about Death at a Funeral is that the funny parts weren't in the trailer.  This is something all to common in movies today and I appreciate the fact that I didn't alway know what was coming.  Thank you Chris Rock, and Martin Lawrence [easily the most unfunny character of the movie] for entertaining me and my wife on this nice afternoon in Fresno.  And for that entertainment and laughs alone, I give this movie a...
MEDIUM BAG OF POPCORN

The Last Song

Dear Paul Walker Look-Alike Liam Hemsworth,

 You will never look as good as Paul Walker with that perfect wavy hair, and you will never co-star alongside such american heroes as Vin Diesel, but unlike your twin you can actually act.  Is it the fact that your brother Chris Hemsworth [who will be THOR in next summers Marvel movie] got you this gig or you actually tried out and made the cut to play Miley Cyrus' love interest.  Either way good job, you made this movie a tad bit more enjoyable.  To bad the movie couldn't have been better so that your acting career would have started on a high note.  Oh well at least your good looking and 1000's of teenage girls already have a half naked poster of you in there bedroom.  K Later

Sincerely,

Corny Reviews

Look what can you expect from a movie starring Miley Cyrus, Executive produced by Tish Cyrus [Miley's Mom], Produced by Adam Shankman that guy from So You Think You Can Dance, and written by Nicolas Sparks [the sappy author who writes novels that all women love].  You can expect pretty much what you are thinking in your head.  Sparks may be a decent author, but writing a movie, and writing a book are 2 separate things.  The script for this movie was really really bad.  Now lets take the script out of the equation.  Lets talk acting.  Cyrus, not aweful.  Liam Hemsworth, decent needs a few more movies under his belt, Greg Kinnear, Steller performance.  The problem with putting a guy like Kinnear in this movie is that he makes everyone else look bad.

Ok so now to the plot.  This is a movie that continues to tug on your heart.  The movie wants its audience to cry, and to feel sad, but at a certain point you have let up.  Do you remember the ending to the 3rd lord of the rings?  You kept thinking it was over and then there was one more scene of the hobbits jumping on the bed, then another scene, then another scene.  Yeah thats how this movie ended up.  If you allow it this movie will rip your heart out.  Put it back together, rip your heart out again, put it back together, rip your heart again, but this time you are just pissed off at the movie, and tired of having you heart ripped out.  Here's what I say.  The movie is certainly not the worst Sparks Adaptation, but this is really a movie to see on DVD.

Its a great movie for a home Date Movie.  Besides the occasional bad language and a few shots of Miley Cyrus' cleavage the movie is pretty clean.  Great for a family movie night...once its out on DVD of course.  

Last thing I didn't like and then I will stop wasting your time.  I don't like how movies now a days talk about Divorce so lightly.  As if it is what it is.  Divorce needs to be portrayed exactly how it is in real life.  Not something super healthy and totally normal.  It's bogus to me, but hey that Hollywood, huh?

Anyways I give this movie a...

SMALL BAG OF POPCORN

How to Train Your Dragon

Dear Pixar,


  Watch Out!  Dream Works is coming for ya, and honestly they have just made a better film than any of your 9 total.  How to train your dragon in my opinion tops the list for animated features.  I understand you have the name in your favor, and maybe some really good short films that accompany your movies, but never the less competition is on the rise.  Now that the awful Over the Hedge has nearly been forgotten, Dream Works finally has a decent rap sheet.  All 3 Shreks, Kung Fu Panda, and now you competitor for best animated feature How to train your Dragon.  Although I do throughly enjoy each film you have made, I can honestly say that none pulled on my heart as much as Dragons did.  Its sad that great movies like UP make $250 million, but movies that are amazing like Dragons is going to make $150 million.  I hope you enjoy being the second best animated movie company, and if your staff disagrees with me, tell them I am sorry, but they should have thought of the idea of Dragon's being friendly in the first place.


Here is my standing from the past 10 years, the next 10 look promising your competitor.


2000-2009


Pixar - 5
Dream Works - 2


2010-2019


Pixar - 0
Dream Works - 1


Sincerely, 
Corny Reviews


Alright here is what you need to know.  Whoever directed this movie is amazing.  The movie was shot near perfectly.  Each scene pulled in the audience and didn't let go.  I am not a big fan of any animated film out there.  Most often they end with an extremely predictable ending, and try to hard to have comedy that the plot gets forgotten.  What I liked about Dragons is that it focused completely on the plot, and payed extreme attention to detail.  Unlike the TV show Lost, each element of the movie was explained, or known by the end.  The audience never had to ask follow up questions from the movie because it was all there.  
The voice casting I thought was excellent.  Who better to play the Viking son Hiccup, who was a bit of softy, than Undeclared's, Jay Baruchal.  The supporting cast was excellent as well.  Gerard Butler as the father, and some comedy relief from Jonah Hill, Cloverfield cameraman TJ Miller, and Teeerget girl Kristin Wigg.  They all brought the town alive, and really allowed the mostly children audience to experience the fun side to training a dragon.
The 2 things I appreciated the most were, the unconventional ending which I will let you experience for yourself, and the Dragon Training manuel.  Imagine the back of Marvel collecting cards.  Strength 10, Fire Blast 6, Tail spikes 7, its all there, and the writers went way out of there way to invent multiple different dragons, and have the wonderful McLovin to explain each Dragons strengths and weaknesses throughout the movie.  
This movie is not for all kids.  I would strongly encourage parents to think about not taking there kid if they are under 6.  The movie is very violent for a kids movie, and can cause a lot of anxiety due to the stress level this movie causes you.  You child WILL be on the edge of his/her seat all the way up to the ending.  It does has a bit of social commentary for parents to pick up on similar to the Obesity issue in Wall-E.  The movie is fun, and highly entertaining.  Don't pay the extra to see it in 3D, the visuals are not nearly as good as the plot itself.  I give this movie an...
EXTRA-LARGE BAG OF POPCORN