Christmas Time

Because its Christmas and people are wondering what to go see I will post an extremely quick review of some movies. I'm Warning you it will be quick.

Armored - Medium Bag of Popcorn - rent it, good action

The Road - Large Bag of Popcorn - good acting, lacked plot

Did you hear about the morgans? - Small bag of popcorn - hugh grant is the only good part

Avatar - Large Bag of Popcorn - if you haven't seen this already then you probably don't read my blog

Me and Orson Welles - Large Bag of Popcorn - great acting, decent plot, Zac efron is a hunk

Up in the Air - Extra Large Bag of Pocorn - so good! the mom from rookie of the year is in it. makes it even better.

Merry Christmas. Spend More on movies and less on your family!

Sincerely,

Corny Reviews

The Messenger

I really should just give up on reviewing movies, and just hire Jonny to do movie reviews. He's the brain and the talent, I just have a lame blog. Oh well here it is.

If you’re like me and sometimes complain about how hard or stressful your job is, it’s always nice when something comes along to refocus your perspective. After seeing director and co-writer Oren Moverman’s beautifully acted new film The Messenger, I not only developed a newfound appreciation for my job, I became better acquainted with some of the most grueling work a human being can be called upon to perform.

The story centers around decorated U.S. Army soldier, Staff Sgt. Montgomery (Ben Foster) and his return to America from Iraq. He is in rough shape, and adding some challenging adversity to post-traumatic stress disorder, he is assigned to the Casualty Notification program. His mentor and fellow officer, Capt. Stone (Woody Harrelson) is a tricky combination of by-the-book stickler and loose cannon (though the script sometimes seems unsure of this mixture). Montgomery and Stone are the ones delivering news of a fallen soldier’s death to parents, wives, children. There are various rules for the officers charged with this grim duty, among them, “Do not touch the NOK,” as Stone says, meaning the next of kin.

The Messenger is not itself grueling, which is practically a miracle. Rather, this pungent little chamber piece offers a full yet delicate range of emotions, and it humanizes its characters so that polemics are left in the background. It takes place in the present, but the conflict claiming military lives could be any conflict, not just America’s involvements in Iraq and Afghanistan. The movie has little to do, in any respect, with a nerve-racker like The Hurt Locker except this: Both are apolitical without being soft-headed -- and both honor the warrior without lionizing the war. Actually, they share another similarity: they are both among the best movies of the year.

Ben Foster (the best actor you’ve never heard of) plays Montgomery, and he embodies everything the role needs: a plausibly tough war hero, a man struggling to find his place back on American soil, a volatile, combustible soul, a dimensional dramatic creation. Foster can be pretty showy as a performer (his turn in the 3:10 to Yumaremake was both impressive and road-hoggy), but he’s lower-key and spot-on here. With Harrelson’s performance as Stone, we can now safely say that he has always been a valuable and versatile presence, even in junk, right from the beginning of his screen career. He seems visibly relieved to be working on a strong, honest script. Like Foster, he can be accused of outsize effects, but in The Messenger he’s solid as a rock and very moving. Samantha Morton is warm and true as Olivia, the widow who wonders if this unsteady young man, Stone, is out to “take advantage of (her) grief.” The relationship has a connect-the-dots air, but the details, the interactions, go a long way toward fleshing things out.

Moverman and cinematographer Bobby Bukowski shoot the movie like a ’70s artifact, with slow zooms and an unforced feeling of ambience. The results make up for any number of other, lesser, clunkier movies relating to the war in Iraq. Then again, The Messenger is worth seeking out for the simple reason that it’s not Iraq-specific. Rather, it’s quietly universal. It’s a moving and powerful film that should garner plenty of critical acclaim. I give this movie an...

XTRA-LARGE BAG OF POPCORN

Everybody's Fine

The Blind Fantastic Mr. Education

TRIPLE THREAT COMIN AT CHA!

Precious

If you were able to sift through the hoards of Twi-hards at the theater this past weekend, you may have noticed that a better, less ridiculous film also opened. There really aren't a lot of parallels between the two: one will undoubtedly garner plenty of Oscar buzz, one certainly will not; one features strong performances, the other certainly does not; one tries to engage the audience to emotionally connect with a serious problem, one desperately tries to appeal to the 14-year-old girl inside all of us. The film I’m referring to was also co-executive produced by Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey. Now, usually the words “Tyler,” “Perry” and “presents” are enough to make me stay away forever, but due to the critical praise and powerful trailer, I decided to give the film a shot.


Despite its laughably pretentious title, Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire is one of the most harrowing films of the year, with one of the most monstrous villains in recent memory (right up there with Anton Chigurh and The Joker). Yet it earns both a levity and a hope that somehow never feels out of place, an almost impossible balancing act to pull off. It is an indomitable movie about an indomitable human spirit.

Set in Harlem in 1987, the film is the story of Claireece “Precious” Jones (Gabourey Sidibe), an obese 16-year-old African-American girl who is pregnant for the second time by her own father. Now that her father has abandoned the family, Precious waits hand and foot on her welfare-queen mother (Mo’Nique), a venomously wrathful woman who sees her innocent daughter as the usurper of her grotesque husband’s affections and in retaliation, brutally abuses her daughter emotionally and physically.

Not exactly the feel good movie of the year, eh? You might be surprised. This holiday release, weighted down with issues of incest, physical and emotional abuse, and AIDS is permeated with a surprising lightheartedness, striking a good balance between heaven and hell. While much of this comes from situational comedy -- especially Precious’ colorful new family composed of her equally imperiled classmates -- the majority is found in first-time director Lee Daniels’ visual style. In the midst of her most heinous assaults, Precious’ mind leaves her body, retreating to a safe and imaginary place where she is a paparazzi-plagued celebrity, a music diva, a model with boy toys, basically anyone than who she really is. These almost Amèlie-esque moments, like the film itself, are both amusing and heartbreaking -- as when Precious looks into the mirror and sees a beautiful, skinny white girl looking back -- and give us some clue into how Precious has survived a life of which most of us are incapable of conceiving.


A lot has been said about the performances. As I alluded to earlier, Mo’Nique was absolutely transformative. In fact, she should be given the Best Supporting Actress Oscar right now. Her portrayal as Precious’ abomination of a mother is simply colossal. You won’t see a better performance this year. The lead performance by Gabourey Sidibe, meanwhile, is -- well, problematic. The large, slow-moving first-time actress is not particularly expressive. Even more cruelly, the lighting (which is usually balanced for the far lighter-skinned Patton and Carey) throws Sidibe’s features into shadow, making her even less present. Then there’s the story itself (which contains all the subtlety of a sledgehammer). I won’t spoil it here, but there are some minor plot points that don’t need to be in there. It’s almost as if Daniels and company didn’t trust that the story they were telling would be memorable on its own merits -- they had to pile on even more downtrodden obstacles for Precious to overcome. Doing so makes one question the validity of the story, which is never a good thing.


That being said Precious is so traumatic that you shouldn’t be surprised if your emotions are too battered even to produce tears. The act of weeping may simply prove to be too much for your shell-shocked system to handle. And yet, this vibrantly honest and resoundingly hopeful film might just, against all odds, see you off with a smile and a glowing heart -- and for that, the film should be commended. I give this movie a...
Large Bag of Popcorn

New MOON

2012

This is IT

Good Hair

A Serious Man

Another wonderful review by Jonny! Enjoy and please comment below!

The Book of Job has always been a disturbing and controversial presence within Scripture for devout believers and curious bystanders alike. In it, Job is a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil. God allows Satan to do whatever he wants to his servant Job, showing Satan that he will never lose faith or curse his creator. Satan then begins to decimate Job’s family and fortune, utterly wiping out everything the man ever held dear. All the while Job never once lost faith in God. Job was never far from Joel and Ethan Coen’s minds when they set out to make A Serious Man, essentially a modern retelling of the Book of Job and, by extension, an examination of humankind’s relationship to omnipotence.

Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg) lives on a featureless suburban street in Minneapolis, in the sort of featureless suburban house that has almost given rise to its own genre of films about soul-eating disenfranchisement and middle-class mediocrity. But this is not one of those films. Larry lives his featureless life in his featureless house on his featureless street with his wife and two teenaged children. The year is 1967, and Larry, a physics professor on track for tenure and an upstanding member of the local Jewish community, is trying very hard, in his bland sort of way, to be a good man and to lead a righteous life. But like the radical 60s counter-culture that is just beginning to turn his quiet little neighborhood all topsy-turvy, everything in Larry's life is about to go to hell.

Larry has always considered himself an upstanding man; therefore he is shell-shocked by the ambush of bad fortune he encounters in this film and sinks into a spiritual crisis. What does God want from him? How did he offend God? Why, if he did right, is he being punished? And how can he make it right? Larry, very much a believer in the axiom "actions have consequences," struggles to comprehend what actions of his might have turned God against him. But the harder he looks for answers, the more his troubles are amplified.

Beleaguered and desperate for clues to his situation, Larry turns to his rabbis for advice, but they comprehend the situation and God's hand in it no better than he. All they can offer is sanctimonious platitudes and ineffectual parables. "You have to see these things as expressions of God's will," one spiritual advisor tells him. "You don't have to like it." Larry is told that his questions are imprudent, that his problems aren't significant and that to see God's will, he must get a new perspective. "Everything that I thought was one way turns out to be the opposite," he cries out to a friend who responds: "Then it's an opportunity to learn how things really are." The one person Larry does not ask is God himself. Unlike Job who demanded answers from his omnipotent tormentor, Larry never calls out. Perhaps he is afraid of what the answer might be. Perhaps he cannot fathom the silence that might greet him in return. Perhaps that is why this film ends very differently than the biblical text of Job.

A Serious Man is an exquisitely, perhaps even flawlessly, realized piece of original art. If one were to say that the Coens have stopped evolving as filmmakers, it is only because one cannot improve upon perfection. Their technical mastery is above reproach. Their longtime collaborators, cinematographer Roger Deakins and composer Carter Burwell, turn in masterful contributions. The script, written by the brothers (who, as usual, also took on the editing duties under the name Roderick Jaynes), is lyrical, dense, darkly comical and wickedly perverse. The cast, drawn almost exclusively from the stage rather than the screen, are nearly all unknowns. Michael Stuhlbarg, a distinguished Broadway star, is impeccable as Larry Gopnick, as is every other cast member right down the line; many of them surely chosen for their resemblance to the sorts of grotesque caricatures found in Fellini films.

The Coen brothers have always populated their films with characters unable to catch a break, or who find themselves suddenly and often inexplicably cut down. In the past, we’ve been able to chalk this up to rampaging mobsters, homicidal psychopaths or even nihilism itself. But never have the filmmakers pushed God (or the absence of God) in front of the camera like this. They give their audience only two options: either God doesn’t exist and we’re wasting our lives trying to please him in a world ruled by randomness, or he exists and he is a vindictive monster out to annihilate us. Correction: not vindictive. Vindictiveness implies causality, which this film never infers. Here God (if it is God) scorches the earth for reasons far more inscrutable than the cryptic proofs Larry scribbles onto his titanic blackboards. In A Serious Man, the role of Anton Chigurh, the rampaging, relentless, unstoppable, murderous maniac in the Coens’ No Country For Old Men (a brilliant film) is played by none other than God himself. Not since Woody Allen have American filmmakers so brazenly tackled the subject of God as an absentee landlord. "No God" or "evil God" -- there isn't much of a difference from Larry's perspective.

The problem for a man like Larry, who sees the world in theorems and proofs, is that life cannot be summed in an equation. Larry might insist all he wants is that "actions have consequences" when, in fact, it appears more that sometimes consequences arise without the genesis of actions. He may try to unravel mysteries like Schrödinger's Paradox and the Heisenberg Principle -- multifarious and cryptic algorithms which mean, more or less, "God only knows." But when God isn't talking, Larry's line at one point to his class takes on an ominous dimension: "Even if you can't figure it out, you're still responsible for it on the midterm."

Once again, the Coens' nihilism rears its ugly head, though adorned this time with an epistemological crown. If there is a God -- vindictive or not -- then life is certainly not meaningless, even if it is no less enigmatic and terrifying. For those who would claim that human inconsequentiality cannot question much less fathom the omnipotence of God (as God himself tells Job) and that we should, therefore, simply accept both the bounty and the hardship with equal gratitude, they must have missed the commentary embedded in the final, unfathomable, shocking moments of the film. Because, in the end, who cares? The result is the same. Plead with heaven all you like -- no meaningful answer will be forthcoming. And if you do get a response, chances are you won't like it. So if you're a Coen and life is almost certainly absurd and very nearly meaningless, you might as well learn to find the comedy in even the most barbaric of situations.

The Coens have always invited us to laugh at others' misfortune. Now, perhaps, we are invited to laugh at our own, prescribed in a mathematical formula of another kind: tragedy + time = comedy. I give this movie an...
XTRA LARGE BAG OF POPCORN

Where The Wild Things Are.

Sorry FANS

The Cove Trailer

for those of you interested here is a trailer for the review below...

The Cove

review by Jonny

If The Cove were a fiction film, it would be derided as far-fetched, contrived, even hard to swallow. The fact that it's nonfiction doesn't make it any easier to believe -- if only because the footage is so horrifying, the facts so disturbing. It's not that you can't believe it, but that you don't want to -- and that’s what makes The Cove not only the best film of 2009 thus far, but one of the best documentaries I've ever seen, period. It's not just that these filmmakers expose vicious, inhumane and ecologically dangerous practices, apparently sanctioned and covered up by the Japanese government and its media, but the filmmakers have done it while risking their freedom -- even their lives -- for the cause. The result is the year's most exciting film -- as well as a documentary that can't help but leave you upset and outraged.

The film is directed by photographer Louis Psihoyos, a magazine photographer and documentarian whose head was turned around when he met dolphin activist Ric O'Barry. Once one of the leading dolphin trainers in the world -- his final job being TV's "Flipper" -- O'Barry flipped to the other side when he realized how miserable (he would say suicidal) the captive dolphins were. He became a vigilante about freeing dolphins that were part of marine-park dolphin shows (hello, Seaworld?) and swim-with-the-dolphins parks. O'Barry, in turn, told Psihoyos about Taiji, Japan, which is secretly the world's largest unofficial abattoir -- slaughterhouse, in other words -- for dolphins. Though the Japanese government protects the locals who undertake this barbaric practice, O'Barry knew that this one place accounted for the senseless killing of tens of thousands of dolphins each year.

Essentially, each year, as dolphins' migratory pattern takes them past Taiji, fisherman herd the dolphins into an inlet, which they then wall off with netting. The most desirable of the dolphins -- the bottlenoses that resemble Flipper -- are captured and sold to marine parks, aquariums and dolphinariums around the world. The rest are herded into a cove and slaughtered for meat -- despite the fact that they contain a high level of mercury.

But the government helps keep this practice secret by preventing anyone from witnessing this. While you can watch from land as the best dolphins are picked out of the first culling, the cove itself where the slaughter takes place is hidden by hills -- and the national park of which it is part is guarded and patrolled. Anyone caught trying to see what's really going on is arrested.

So Psihoyos recruited a mixed bag of specialists/commandos to make his own video assault on the cove. And that's the story of The Cove -- how, against the odds, these filmmakers captured on high-def video horrifying footage that the Japanese government does not want you to see.

At the same time, Psihoyos uses the film to clearly examine the politics of the International Whaling Commission, a seeming regulatory agency for the slaughter of cetaceans (of which both whales and dolphins are examples) that serves as an ineffective puppet for Japan and other whaling nations. He lays out the strings Japan pulls to get countries that have no fishing industry to vote their way through large infusions of cash.

In writing about this film, it's hard not to simply go off on a rant about Japan, which is not just the enabler but the muscle behind the efforts to keep this program secret. Psihoyos points out the sordid history of Minamata, the town where a powerful Japanese corporation, Chisso, routinely dumped mercury into the local waters, which accumulated in local seafood, poisoning the locals and leading to thousands of deaths and children born with deformities. The government fought efforts to publicize the problem, then to hold Chisso to account, for years, until the international outcry was too great.

The Cove is guerrilla journalism at its best. Structured and paced by director Louie Psihoyos as a thriller/caper movie, it brings audience-grabbing cinematic conventions to work in telling its story of dolphin genocide. It's a movie that should be seen by everyone, right now. It’s so well done that it plays like one of the better spy capers I’ve seen in recent memory. Indeed, this film could launch a new sensibility for environmental documentaries. This is no dry PowerPoint lecture or sentimental tree-huggery. It's an adventure with a charismatic and soulful cast, topnotch production values and the canny storytelling of a riveting drama. I give this movie an...

TRIPLE EXTRA LARGE BAG OF POPCORN

District 9

There are so many praiseworthy things about District 9 (its originality, the thoughtful, allegorical nature of the script, the fact that it's writer/director Neil Blomkamp's first feature, how far he and his crew made their relatively meager $24 million budget stretch) that it's hard to be too critical of it. Some movies pack such a terrific central idea, even their flaws can't stop the train. District 9 is -- almost -- one of them. In its first half it barrels along with the velocity and assurance of a new classic; then it settles for being a good, splattery addition to the venerable aliens-come-calling genre -- and it feels like a slight letdown.

Right from the get-go the film does a terrific job of dropping you into the action while simultaneously building the back story with clips of mock TV news footage (credit should definitely be given to cinematographer Trent Opaloch, who, using a palette of washed-out greys and browns, lent a great gritty realism to the film -- so real, that I found myself thinking "This is exactly how something like this would happen"). As things unfold, the real problems arise. The pace becomes unvarying as opposed to exhilarating. As the film focuses increasingly on the plight of an alien father and son who hold the key to their species' survival, the movie tips into more conventional and even sentimental territory. The film goes from being a penetrating, thoughtful Sci-Fi film that harkens back to classics such as The Day The Earth Stood Still, to just another action movie -- and that's a real shame, because it could have, and should have been way more than that.

As a Sci-Fi film, District 9 instantly takes its place as one of the best additions to the genre in years; however, it had potential to transcend the label of “genre film” but unfortunately, it rests on its laurels a little too much. This film, by all accounts and measures, should resonant deeply, but it's just this kind of underlying resonance that is missing from District 9, a film of stunning visual imagination that never quite succeeds in tapping its vast metaphoric potential. I give this movie a...

Large Bag of Popcorn

Time Travelers Wife

May I make a quick note. As I was buying a ticket for this movie a man probably in his 50's was buying a ticket. He walked up to the front of the line and said "May I have one ticket to Time Travel." I just thought that was funny.

Dear Ron Livingston,

I really like you. I feel like after watching Band of Brothers…finally, I have developed a bit of a man crush on you. You’re role in the Time Travelers Wife was small, but never the less very important in my eyes. I hope that one day you give up that sidekick gig and go back to your office space roots, and be a leading man once more. Your fans need you, I need you, Corny Reviews needs you.

I will not be as harsh as I was on Bandslam because I enjoyed parts of the Time Travelers wife. Eric Bana is basically this guy that travels through time at any moment and when he arrives in those different time slots he is naked, and some how meets up with Rachel McAdams most of the time. He says that big events pull him in so after so many times seeing Rachel McAdams he ends up doing the only thing logical marrying her. It seems weird to me too? This movie was truthfully confusing. It jumped time slots a lot, and a few slots were so irrelevant to the movie it made it at times frustrating to watch. Lets put it this way if you’ve seen the Lake House; you have pretty much seen this movie. Also for a PG-13 it had language pretty much throughout the movie, so in terms of bringing the family...maybe not. Now the Time Travelers wife isn’t awful either. Ron Livingston is great as Eric Bana’s friend, and it does serve its purpose for a romance movie, and it caused my wife to cry. I usually would cry during these kinds of movies, but for some reason not this one. So if you can make my wife cry, but not me that means you didn’t fully do your job as a director. So I give this movie a…

MEDIUM BAG OF POPCORN

Bandslam

Dear Friday Night Lights Actors,

Stop acting in movies. Just because you all of sudden get famous because you are on some cult hit TV show doesn’t mean you can go and make crap movies like Bandslam, and Post Grad. To be fair Jason Street you were decent in Speed Racer, but come on Bandslam? You and Matthew Serecen need more acting under your belt before you can go and be in movies. I did not like your character in Bandslam, and you really are a bad actor in general. Please stop because I actually really love Friday Night Lights.

Sincerely Yours,

Corny Reviews, and Taylor Allen.

I actually wanted to like Bandslam. I really did, but it just didn’t do it for me the way other teen movies usually do. This movie tried to hard. That is the bottom line. Most teen movies are usually bad, and you can kind of expect that, and then you end up enjoying it just because it was fun. Bandslam was far from fun. Besides the awful sound issues in the movie theatre, the movie changed paces so many times it was hard to follow. Each time the director wanted you to be emotionally upset, or sad the scene following would attempt a joke that no one laughed at. I thought the only good part of this movie was…scratch that there was no good parts to this movie. For crying out loud this movie used MySpace to promote their band, and MySpace is seriously out. It felt out dated, and not fun. I wish I would have seen another movie, but the 15 jr. highers I took to it seemed to enjoy it, so I guess it was worth it. Seacrest Out! I give this movie an…

EXTRA-SMALL BAG OF POPCORN.

Julie & Julia

Julie & Julia is just one of those movies that you should see. Whether or not you like the movie, its just something that if you don’t see it now, I guarantee you later in your life someone will say;

“remember, like in Julie & Julia”

and then you will say…

“I haven’t seen that movie.”

and then they will say…

“oh well you have to watch it.”

If you take my advice then you won’t have to go through this later in your life. So basically I am doing you a favor. Trust me, this has happened to me with You've Got Mail.

Nora Ephron the director created a movie that was nearly perfect for her audience. It was different from here previous [sleepless in Seattle, you’ve got mail] in that this really wasn’t a human love story; rather it was about love for food. Julie Powell is nearly obsessed with Julia Childs who wrote a famous cookbook about cooking French food in America. She starts a 365-day blog that follows Julie as she cooks her way through the cookbook. Along the way she faces trials, and has one to many meltdowns. We see the back-story of this book and how it came to be with Julia Childs. I almost feel like I have to review this movie in 2 parts. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the real Julia Childs played by Meryl Streep. Her on screen chemistry with Stanley Tucci was in my mind beautiful. Their LOVE for not only each other but for food as well is something rare that you don’t see on screen these days. Stanley Tucci deserves major credit for probably one of his best performances yet. Watch out for him in Peter Jackson’s new movie called the Lovely Bones, where he plays a killer. Meryl Streep was great as usual, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she gets nominated for an academy award.

On the other hand I didn’t really like Amy Adams portrayal as the nearly 30 government working blogger Julie Powell. Is it just me, or does Amy Adams always look like she is crying. She is a complete pessimist, and it just rubbed me the wrong way at times. She was so uptight, and really did sacrifice everything for this “deranged project.” Her husband Eric played by Chris Messina [Vicky Christina Barcelona] was really what made Amy shine at times. He loved her enough to stick around while she grew more and more uptight. As a whole I really only like the Julia Childs part. Their was so much passion into her character and one truly amazing scene when she receives a letter from her sister. I give Julia Childs side of the movie an…

EXTRA LARGE BAG OF POPCORN, but as a whole I have to give this movie a…

LARGE BAG OF POPCORN.

G.I. JOE [Rise of the Cobra]

Dear Hasbro,

Really you need to go and make another movie based on Toys that used to be popular even before I was born. That’s fine as long as you get really good Actors. Ok wait, as long as you use really cool special effects. Uhh-well maybe if you just have a good story. If you can’t do that, they just make a movie that is purely fun, making the audience from the start lower its expectations almost immediately. If you can do that you have a successful summer blockbuster…and that is exactly what you did, so thank you!

As I pulled up to the theatre I thought to myself why am I seeing this, especially at midnight, as I drove away I wasn’t exactly going off about how awesome the movie was, but I wasn’t going off about how bad it was either. This film is exactly what it was always intended to be. Its exactly like the cartoons from many years ago. Corny, bad acting, terrible special effects, and a mediocre storyline [a double crosser wants to take over the world with basically those little bugs from the mummy. They eat metal, and sell movie tickets]. Some of the redeeming qualities were the 2 cameos from previous Stephen Summer movie characters, such as the THE MUMMY. It even features the back-stories of a few characters in the movie, which was surprisingly cool. I am really going to make the call of whether or not you should see this movie totally and completely up to you the viewers. I thought this movie was a fun little action adventure, and nothing more. Marlyn Wayans actually provided in that fun a little bit of humor. If you are a Lost fan keep your eye out for some new, and old faces in G.I. Joe. And now you know what I thought of this movie…and knowing is half the battle. I give this movie a…

MEDIUM BAG OF POPCORN

Funny People

Jonny is such a better reviewer than me, oh well thats why I hired him to make me look good.

Funny People, the latest offering from the reigning King of Comedy, Judd Apatow, feels like an attempt to graft the writer/director/producer's patented brand of semi-raunchy character comedy of latent male adolescence on to the template of a certain kind of studio film rarely made today -- think 1980s Oscar bait, like Terms of Endearment, The Accidental Tourist or even Beaches: the gently melancholic dramedy in which someone in early middle age is suddenly forced to reconcile their lives. This unlikely hybrid serves as the vehicle for a meta-epic work of autobiography that pays tribute to one of the writer/director's oldest friends/collaborators, diverges into a love letter to his wife, contrives to get the wife and the friend in bed together, and then drags in Eric Bana to get them out. All the while, Seth Rogen is milling about, mostly as a surrogate for the filmmaker, until he suddenly switches over and starts speaking for the audience -- during the film's draggiest stretch, he is very vocal about not wanting to be there.

If this sounds bizarre, it is. What's more bizarre is that this mix of personal project-as-product sort of succeeds -- at least intermittently. Though not formally bifurcated, Funny People practically plays out in two sections (another 80s flashback: it feels like the kind of film that used to come packaged on two VHS tapes). It peaks emotionally at about three-quarters of the way into the first section and then rapidly devolves from there into a domestic sitcom that can only resolve itself in a "girls may come and go, but bromance is forever" fade out. By the time that statement arrives in the 146th minute, it's almost redundant. Very litle attempt has been made to veil the correspondence between Funny People's narrative beats and Judd Apatow's actual life history. Laura is played by Apatow's real-life wife Leslie Mann, whose actual pre-motherhood career is sampled here as Laura's "acting reel," and whose real-life daughters make their second appearance afterKnocked Up as her daughters on screen. After George and Laura share what is -- as far as I remember -- the first genuinely tear-jerking scene in Apatow's canon (involving what is certainly one of the most human-esque acting work Sandler has ever committed to screen), the film takes an even more abrupt shift: breaking out of George's house, jumping ship from what seemed like its reason to exist, and suddenly becoming an adultery farce. Funny People feels like two films stitched together, in a manner reminiscent of a messy epic likeReds. The second half of Apatow's film -- like the back end relegated to the second VHS tape of Warren Beatty's -- couldn't exist without the first half, but it carries on with a completely new set of stakes, a completely separate emotional arc.

Though Funny People is the first Apatow film to not be shot like a comic strip, the director has not, in his previous directorial efforts, been all that shy about his evident desire to push beyond the generally accepted boundaries of the modern "dudecom" genre. Funny People is a much more ambitious film than The 40 Year-old Virgin or Knocked Up, and a far less audience-friendly one. Though gently funny throughout, there is no comic set piece here on the order of the mushrooms scene in Knocked Up. There's nothing as quotable as the "bags of sand" bit from Virgin. None of the characters seem as destined for viral iconhood as McLovin. It's hard to imagine this film pleasing an audience drawn in by its stars -- one man's catharsis is rarely another's invitation to escape.

I have nothing but respect for Apatow's ambition. What I struggle with are his instincts as a director, which, from an artistic standpoint, tend to be bad. If there's no one telling him he can't make a 146 minute Adam Sandler film, it’s not surprising that there’s no one dissuading his natural proclivity to get crazy indulgent with the montages. In this film, that tendency teeters on (but unfortunately, doesn't cross) the line of self-parody with a Dying Man Finally Learns How To Live sequence, set to a cover of the posthumous Beatles tune "Real Love," sung on camera by a guitar-strumming Sandler. Like the song, you’ll find nothing real, love or otherwise. And this is the central problem with Funny People: Apatow has taken blisteringly personal material and filtered it through tropes and cliches borrowed from trite, mainstream factory-line cinema of another era. Judd Apatow, the writer, deserves a better director. I give this movie a...
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The Great Buck Howard [DVD]

Recently I received the movie The Great Buck Howard in my mailbox. I was unsure about it because Colin Hanks [Buck Howards assistant] has had a few flops lately [the house bunny, untraceable], but I decided to give it a try. It’s a story about Buck Howard who is one cooko mentalist that is living in the past when he was on the tonight show with Johnny Carson 61 times. This movie follows John Malkovich [Buck Howard] as he strives to still be in the spotlight, and do something amazing. As my wife and I continued watching this movie I found the charm not only in this movie, but in the characters as well. They truly believed in what they do no matter how many people want them to give it up. Buck Howard was looking for just one more appearance on the Tonight Show, and his assistant wanted anything but Law School. As both these characters reach their crossroads you begin to fall in love with this movie. It is a quick watch with minimal laugh, but lots of charm. I give this movie a…

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(500) Days of Summer

Dear Marc Webb,

I thought you did a beautiful job with this movie. Coming from directing only a 3 doors down, and a Jesse McCartney music video I give you major probs. I must say that you have tremendous amount of go nads to do half the stuff you did in your movie. It was almost like you didn’t care if the audience didn’t like the unique storyline, or the excessive use of the color blue, you were going to do it anyways. In my opinion you made an incredible movie, and I knew it was incredible when Joseph Gordon-Levitt was walking down the street to a song and dance of “you make my dreams come true.” The very thought of doing something like this scene makes me love your no holds barred filmmaking, and I cannot wait for your next movie.

Does this directorial debut have flaws? Yes! Is it totally worth seeing? Absolutely! (500) Days of Summer clearly states that this movie is not a love story, and if you walk in with those expectations you will severely be disappointed. It’s a story about love that the average male, and female can relate to. There are no good guys or bad girls in this movie, just 2 people with very different views on LOVE. As you watch this movie you have to appreciate the directors unique style. He puts together a movie with so much guts, that you at least have to love it for that. If you don’t understand what I mean watch the movie and compare to any other movie you have seen in the last year…it’s just different. I am all about different, and that’s why I give this movie an…

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The Ugly Truth

Dear Katherine Heigl,

I personally believe your career is over. You hit huge success after Knocked Up, and Grey's Anatomy, and now look at you. Making sappy vulgar romantic comedies, and without a day job for the fall. If I can be honest with you, the best thing you ever did was the WB cult favorite, and Corny Reviews favorite ROSWELL. I will never hate you because you were in Roswell, but you need to find a different gig.

I have debated writing this review for a while now. Honestly this movie isn’t worth my time, and I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it for a while. I never really laughed during it, and the Ugly Truth is it’s a really vulgar movie. Gerald Butler can’t act…still. I don’t care what you say 300 fans this guys honestly stinks. P.S. I love you was a complete waste of time. I want my fans to know that if you are looking for a romantic comedy this weekend, the Ugly Truth is not the way to go. I give this movie an…

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My Apologies Jonny and Fans

I for some reason had a block on the comments sections. That is no longer an issue. Anyone can comment, and I truly am sorry to Corny Reviews Fans.

"Apologies Johnny" - Undershade

The Hurt Locker

The Second Review from the wonderful Jonny. Let him know your thoughts if you have any.

The Hurt Locker

After six years of mediocre, Oscar-trolling prestige films that failed to impress audiences or critics (Rendition, In The Valley of Elah, Lions for Lambs, etc.) the first true masterpiece of the Iraq War sub-genre has finally arrived. The Hurt Locker is filled with tense scene after tense scene, including multiple IED-diffusing scenarios -- when we know an onlooking insurgent could press the button at any moment -- and a desert shoot-out sequence that goes on for what seems like hours. But the film is as heartbreaking as it is nerve-wracking, especially in an epilogue sequence that recalls the "I'm an average nobody" scene at the end of Goodfellas. "War is a drug," the film tells us in an opening title, and takes that almost literally. What makes this film truly great is that it's most interested in telling us an honest story about these soldiers and this war, without servicing any type of political agenda. The film, refreshingly, is politics-free, and isn't aimed at provoking a reaction one way or another about the political ramifications of the war. The soldiers aren't depicted as soulless killing machines, as tools of a corrupt government or as pure saints. They're honest, flesh-and-bloode human beings (what a concept!). For this we can largely thank the script and the actors, especially Jeremy Renner, who deserves every acting accolade in the world. Kathryn Bigelow has always had a great eye for action, but with The Hurt Locker, she not only has made her masterpiece, she has set a new standard for which every modern day war movie should be judged against. I give this movie a...

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Harry Potter

I am not going to review this movie because whether it was good or bad you are still going to see it. Plus I am just not that big of a fan of these movies. I'm sorry to say, but ew.com is the best place for this review.

Review to come:

The Hurt Locker

500 Days of Summer

The Ugly Truth

Thanks be being awesome fans.

G-Force

Dear Jerry Bruckheimer,

Personally I am not the biggest fan of your work. I really never liked the pirate’s movies, and who can forget the glorious Kangaroo Jack starring none other than the hilarious Anthony Anderson. The only exception to your producing is Bad Boys I and II. G-Force was no exception to your portfolio. And may I ask why sign on to this movie in the first place. It feels like Night at the museum all over again. 30 well known actor all together in one pretty crappy movie. You just took the rising careers of Zach Galifinakis, and Sam Rockwell, and completely lost them momentum. In your defense the 3-D was pretty cool, and the action in the midst of guinea pigs talking was well done, but other than that the only redeeming thing about this movie was well the Alice in Wonderland Trailer in 3-D. I’m sorry Jerry but when you make Tracy Morgan NOT Funny you have done something wrong.

Sincerely,

Corny Reviews

Ok ok this movie is pretty bad. You don’t walk away hating your life, but really its not worth the price of a movie ticket. I truly believe they made this movie after the success of the gerbil in Bedtimes Stories. Disney said, “what else could we do with these things”, and out popped G-Force. I laughed 1 time during the whole movie, and every heartfelt moment I just got angry because it was Guinea Pigs talking. If you are looking for a clean family fun movie, this is definitely a hit, but seriously a movie about Special Agents that are Guinea Pigs is a bit redonkulous. But if you do see it you might have the same reaction I had when I left the theatre. “Ehh it was ok.” Great Job Disney you have found yet another way to eat peoples money with complete family fun garbage. I give this movie a…

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...about my previous post

fans you need to know that I can't give away much details about the movie Moon. You need to go to this movie without knowing very much about it. It makes the twists, and story that much better. So you can thank me for my review later. I promise though, their are no ALIENS in this movie.

MOON

I know its been a while, but if I don’t see a movie on opening weekend, then there really is no point in writing a review because by that point everyone has seen it. I am deeply sorry for the trouble I may have caused you when picking a movie.

Dear Sci-Fi Fans across the world,

Seriously if you haven’t seen this movie go NOW. It will blow your head off visually, and it has a great sci-fi story to it. Sam Rockwell gives one of the best performances I honestly have ever scene. I love movies like Gatika, and Equillibrium, and even the first Matrix because they are new ideas that are fresh to the big screen. When the moon trailer hit www.themoviebox.net/trailers, I about freaked out. I don’t know why but there hasn’t been a good Sci-Fi movie in a long time, plus it was starring Guy from the glorious Galaxy Quest. I knew that I had to see it. Then I found out it was shot in 33 days during the writers strike by a director named Duncan Jones. Who is Duncan Jones you ask, well that is David Bowie’s son, which is weird, and has no relevance to the movie what so ever. He hired the out of work visual effects guys from various different studios to make such a beautiful work of art. I can’t give away much detail, but this is one of the best movies of the year hands down, and one of the better Sci-Fi movies in a long. Moon will go down in the history of movie making as one of the best directorial debuts ever. Seriously Sci-Fi fans if you miss this, you are missing a gem in filmmaking.

This movie is only playing for a week in Fresno, and is also playing in Santa Cruz. If you are at all interested in Sci-Fi, or like the movie Gatika when you were in Jr. High then check this one out. There is a lot of F-Bombs, but if that doesn’t bother you then see this movie. I have a deep love for movies as unique as this. It is a fresh alternative from major Blockbuster hits like Transformers, and Wolverine. If you have the choice of a rated R movie this weekend Moon should definitely be your choice instead of Bruno. Seriously though 18+ for this one, there is quite a few F-Bombs. If you do end up seeing it this weekend let me know your thoughts. I give this movie an…

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