The Ugly Truth

Dear Katherine Heigl,

I personally believe your career is over. You hit huge success after Knocked Up, and Grey's Anatomy, and now look at you. Making sappy vulgar romantic comedies, and without a day job for the fall. If I can be honest with you, the best thing you ever did was the WB cult favorite, and Corny Reviews favorite ROSWELL. I will never hate you because you were in Roswell, but you need to find a different gig.

I have debated writing this review for a while now. Honestly this movie isn’t worth my time, and I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it for a while. I never really laughed during it, and the Ugly Truth is it’s a really vulgar movie. Gerald Butler can’t act…still. I don’t care what you say 300 fans this guys honestly stinks. P.S. I love you was a complete waste of time. I want my fans to know that if you are looking for a romantic comedy this weekend, the Ugly Truth is not the way to go. I give this movie an…

EXTRA SMALL BAG OF POPCORN

My Apologies Jonny and Fans

I for some reason had a block on the comments sections. That is no longer an issue. Anyone can comment, and I truly am sorry to Corny Reviews Fans.

"Apologies Johnny" - Undershade

The Hurt Locker

The Second Review from the wonderful Jonny. Let him know your thoughts if you have any.

The Hurt Locker

After six years of mediocre, Oscar-trolling prestige films that failed to impress audiences or critics (Rendition, In The Valley of Elah, Lions for Lambs, etc.) the first true masterpiece of the Iraq War sub-genre has finally arrived. The Hurt Locker is filled with tense scene after tense scene, including multiple IED-diffusing scenarios -- when we know an onlooking insurgent could press the button at any moment -- and a desert shoot-out sequence that goes on for what seems like hours. But the film is as heartbreaking as it is nerve-wracking, especially in an epilogue sequence that recalls the "I'm an average nobody" scene at the end of Goodfellas. "War is a drug," the film tells us in an opening title, and takes that almost literally. What makes this film truly great is that it's most interested in telling us an honest story about these soldiers and this war, without servicing any type of political agenda. The film, refreshingly, is politics-free, and isn't aimed at provoking a reaction one way or another about the political ramifications of the war. The soldiers aren't depicted as soulless killing machines, as tools of a corrupt government or as pure saints. They're honest, flesh-and-bloode human beings (what a concept!). For this we can largely thank the script and the actors, especially Jeremy Renner, who deserves every acting accolade in the world. Kathryn Bigelow has always had a great eye for action, but with The Hurt Locker, she not only has made her masterpiece, she has set a new standard for which every modern day war movie should be judged against. I give this movie a...

TRIPLE XTRA LARGE BAG OF POPCORN.

Harry Potter

I am not going to review this movie because whether it was good or bad you are still going to see it. Plus I am just not that big of a fan of these movies. I'm sorry to say, but ew.com is the best place for this review.

Review to come:

The Hurt Locker

500 Days of Summer

The Ugly Truth

Thanks be being awesome fans.

G-Force

Dear Jerry Bruckheimer,

Personally I am not the biggest fan of your work. I really never liked the pirate’s movies, and who can forget the glorious Kangaroo Jack starring none other than the hilarious Anthony Anderson. The only exception to your producing is Bad Boys I and II. G-Force was no exception to your portfolio. And may I ask why sign on to this movie in the first place. It feels like Night at the museum all over again. 30 well known actor all together in one pretty crappy movie. You just took the rising careers of Zach Galifinakis, and Sam Rockwell, and completely lost them momentum. In your defense the 3-D was pretty cool, and the action in the midst of guinea pigs talking was well done, but other than that the only redeeming thing about this movie was well the Alice in Wonderland Trailer in 3-D. I’m sorry Jerry but when you make Tracy Morgan NOT Funny you have done something wrong.

Sincerely,

Corny Reviews

Ok ok this movie is pretty bad. You don’t walk away hating your life, but really its not worth the price of a movie ticket. I truly believe they made this movie after the success of the gerbil in Bedtimes Stories. Disney said, “what else could we do with these things”, and out popped G-Force. I laughed 1 time during the whole movie, and every heartfelt moment I just got angry because it was Guinea Pigs talking. If you are looking for a clean family fun movie, this is definitely a hit, but seriously a movie about Special Agents that are Guinea Pigs is a bit redonkulous. But if you do see it you might have the same reaction I had when I left the theatre. “Ehh it was ok.” Great Job Disney you have found yet another way to eat peoples money with complete family fun garbage. I give this movie a…

SMALL BAG OF POPCORN

...about my previous post

fans you need to know that I can't give away much details about the movie Moon. You need to go to this movie without knowing very much about it. It makes the twists, and story that much better. So you can thank me for my review later. I promise though, their are no ALIENS in this movie.

MOON

I know its been a while, but if I don’t see a movie on opening weekend, then there really is no point in writing a review because by that point everyone has seen it. I am deeply sorry for the trouble I may have caused you when picking a movie.

Dear Sci-Fi Fans across the world,

Seriously if you haven’t seen this movie go NOW. It will blow your head off visually, and it has a great sci-fi story to it. Sam Rockwell gives one of the best performances I honestly have ever scene. I love movies like Gatika, and Equillibrium, and even the first Matrix because they are new ideas that are fresh to the big screen. When the moon trailer hit www.themoviebox.net/trailers, I about freaked out. I don’t know why but there hasn’t been a good Sci-Fi movie in a long time, plus it was starring Guy from the glorious Galaxy Quest. I knew that I had to see it. Then I found out it was shot in 33 days during the writers strike by a director named Duncan Jones. Who is Duncan Jones you ask, well that is David Bowie’s son, which is weird, and has no relevance to the movie what so ever. He hired the out of work visual effects guys from various different studios to make such a beautiful work of art. I can’t give away much detail, but this is one of the best movies of the year hands down, and one of the better Sci-Fi movies in a long. Moon will go down in the history of movie making as one of the best directorial debuts ever. Seriously Sci-Fi fans if you miss this, you are missing a gem in filmmaking.

This movie is only playing for a week in Fresno, and is also playing in Santa Cruz. If you are at all interested in Sci-Fi, or like the movie Gatika when you were in Jr. High then check this one out. There is a lot of F-Bombs, but if that doesn’t bother you then see this movie. I have a deep love for movies as unique as this. It is a fresh alternative from major Blockbuster hits like Transformers, and Wolverine. If you have the choice of a rated R movie this weekend Moon should definitely be your choice instead of Bruno. Seriously though 18+ for this one, there is quite a few F-Bombs. If you do end up seeing it this weekend let me know your thoughts. I give this movie an…

EXTRA LARGE BAG OF POPCORN